After a few months of transitioning, I think I’ve finally come to the point where I know which products I like for Diva and which I don’t. It took some trial and error but I have some staples and I’m sure as my hair changes some of the staples will change, but for now I NEED them.
Products To Ditch:
1) Curl Care by Dr. Miracle’s Rehydrating Shampoo- it doesn’t have the lather I need to make my hair feel clean. I do like the tingly sensation in my scalp,though.
2)Aphogee Leave-In-Conditioner: It’s too watery and I prefer a creamier product. It’s great for spritzing in the hair,though.
3)castor oil- It’s a very heavy oil and makes my hair feel greasy but it does thicken the hair. I might leave it alone for a little while because my hair is thick enough for now.
4)Eco-Styler Olive Oil Gel- I am addicted to hair gel and I left it alone for awhile but went back to it and the gel just started flaking on my hair. It has good hold though.
5)Curls Unleashed Second Day Curl Refresher- I feel like it just sits on my hair and I think I’ll hand it down to Amani. It also has a stickiness to it I don’t like.
1) ORS Hair Mayo- It’s a good protein conditioner and really reminds me of mayonnaise !
2)ORS Hair Masque- This is one of two deep conditioners I LOVE!
3)ORS Replenishing COnditioner- I like this conditioner because it’s my fave color and smells like lemons. It’s creamy as well and sometimes I use it as a prepoo.
4)ORS Uplifting Shampoo- My fave for removing calcium buildup and it lathers perfectly and leaves a tingly feeling in my scalp. It last me a long time because I only use it monthly (sulfate is in it).
5)ORS Creamy Aloe Shampoo- another monthly only shampoo that I like. It removes all the stylers I’ve used that month.
6)ORS Curls Unleashed Lavish in Lather sulfate free shampoo- exactly what it says, lots of lather and I can use it weekly.Sometimes I even use it as bubble soap for Amani’s bath,lol
7)ORS Smooth-N-Hold Pudding- great for ponytails which I’m always in. I am trying to use it in replace of gel. It’s diffult to get my new growth to behave using it but I like it for the rest of my hair
8)ORS Incredibly Rich Oil moisturizing lotion- It’s creamy just how I like it and it keeps my hair moisturized for days!!
9)coconut oil- makes my hair all shiny
11) lavender oil- I only use this right now for Amani’s bath massages and as an oil in her bath. I also use it to help me get to sleep
12) Creme of Nature w/ Argan Oil Moisturizer- it’s new to me and I used it to baggy my hair and it did great!
13) Curls Unleashed Curl defining Creme- My absolute fave styling product. It is perfect for Amani’s twistouts and mine too.
14)ORS HAIRepair Intense Moisture Creme- the moisture is so good but the jar is so small
15) ORS HAIRepair Anti-Breakage Creme- obvious breakage problems so most of the time I use it for L.O.C.
16) ORS HAIRepair Nourishing COnditioner- it gives excellent slip and smells like bananas
So as promised previously, I have finally gotten around to starting Amani’s Homemade Alphabet Book . It’s very simple,really and is best explained at teachmama.com. Today we did the ketters A,B,and C and she was so into it and we’re gonna keep it up until we get through the whole alphabet. Now that she’s been accepted to the Future Leaders Institute (a charter school), I really must get both her and I on my A game. I hope that her book will inspire all of you to try this or think of some more creative!
The cover: Amani’s ABC Book
In preparation for my new ‘do, i prepoo’d my hair with extra virgin coconut oil for about an hour before washing with my creamy aloe shampoo. I used the creamy aloe shampoo because the Eco Styler Olive Oil Hair Gel I used really had my hair flaky so I needed first and foremost handle that. After that, I used my Creme of Nature Moisture and Shine sulfate free shampoo. I finger and comb detangled then applied my Tressemme Moisturizing Conditioner. After washing it out, I did a hot oil treatment with coconut oil,castor oil,and, olive oil. It felt amazing and after 30 minutes, I co washed with the same conditioner.
i followed the YouTube video tutorial pretty much to the letter( I let my mom part it for me) and the results were amazing!!! I was very proud to attempt my first updo by myself and what better timing than Mother’s Day. I plan on leaving it in until Friday and before then I hope to find my next easy-to-do…’do.I’d like to attempt a wash’n'go but first I want to figure out how to do it the right way.
Before doing my mohawk, I told my mom I was going to NEVER relax my hair again and she didnt understand why I was choosing to take care of my own hair from now on. She actually seemed a little upset and I explained to her that it was my decision and I was going to do it whether she approved or not.That took alot of guts to do, but after reading how other naturalistas dealt with opposition for #Naturalhair, I felt better about letting my mom know my plans.
I’m happy to report that my breakage problem, is coming along slowly but surely. After cutting my hair, I think it will progress even better. My next thing to tackle is that damn rough patch smack in the lower right area of my hair. I’m really at a lost for what to do about it but I suppose dong some type of daily regimen would be a start.
24 years ago, I came into this world. I was like all babies:small,innocent,and wanting love. I had it rough growing up, being a foster child not too long after my birth. However, I was luckier than most.My great aunt raised me for the first six years of my life and for awhile she was the only mother I knew.She was taken away from me by her illness, diabetes and I didn’t know what was going to happen to me. I remember my great aunt telling me that God would always take care of me so with a heavy heart I asked Him to bring me a new mommy.She could never replace my great aunt in my heart but I wanted one who would love me just as fiercely and protect me because she couldn’t bear the thought of anything bad happening to me. He heard me.
My aunt came into my life and everything changed. I knew she was perfect for me and I was perfect for her.She let me know who my birth mother was and I found out that I have Mommy A’s knack for learning and creativity.I was a stubborn troublemaker and Mommy N loved me through all of that. She told me the stories of a great woman of strength and faith. A woman, who shared the same bloodline as me. My great grandmother runs through my veins and I didn’t know that I inherited that same strength. As a kid, I was very sensitive,shy, and nerdy. I thought those things made me weak and unimportant and it wasn’t until Amani was born that I realized that those characteristics made me a different kind of strong. You see, my sensitivity shows that I’m unafraid to express my emotions and it takes a strong person to wear her heart on her sleeve. My nerdiness shows that I’m strong enough to be myself in a sea of “trendy”.
I want to thank Mommy N for making me her daughter when she didn’t have to. She gave me all of her and it’s because of that that I can give Amani all of me. I’ve inherited a strong work ethic and morals from her.In the 24 years I’ve been living I finally feel like the woman I’m supposed to be. I feel beautiful and smart even on my ugly and bad decision making days. I can take on the world and not be scared of what it will throw at me.
I have a long way to go in my life and I know that God will lead me to where I’m supposed to be. Now that I think about it even the negative people that have come(some stayed,some left)into my life helped to polish off this diamond in the rough. Happy Birthday Jennice Lauren Marie!!!
Today’s truth is about Mommy N and I. Mommy N bought a Google Chromebook to replace a Lenovo laptop Amani broke. At first it was decided that everyone in the house would use the computer. The only ones capable of using the computer are me, X, Mommy N,and Amani. Then Mommy N decides she doesn’t like the computer and gives it to Amani. I was against the idea and felt like Amani is too young to own a computer.Plus, it would cause a problem between X and Amani because Amani is not used to sharing anything.It was a disaster destined to happen. Mommy N totally ignored my feelings about the situation, but I made Amani share it with X and Mommy N.Yesterday it finally imploded. Mommy N took the computer away from X because Amani had just woke up from a nap and wanted it.
X was upset because he was in the middle of a school assignment. I also was upset because Mommy N said she didnt believe X and I did. Mommy A jumped into the conversation saying she knew the computer would be trouble. So to end the whole discussion,Mommy N decided to take the computer away from everyone. I didn’t mind one bit.
My truth this week is that Mommy N undermines my authority when it comes to Amani. It’s fine if.for example, Amani asks for candy and I say no but her Mommy N says yes. But when it comes to more important things, I feel like I never have the upper hand. Amani needs structure and discipline and it’s my job to do that and Mommy N’s job is to support me as my mother and as Amani’s grandmother.
When I make a decision concerning Amani, Mommy N is always the opposition. I hate not having a hold on Amani like I should just because I want to avoid a confrontation with Mommy N. If her behavior keeps up, Amani will continually second guess or ignore my authority
I’ve had several conversations with Mommy N about it and she says she will stop doing it but continues to do so. I know she loves Amani and wants the world for her, but she needs to fall back and let Mama take the driver’s seat.
Truthful Tuedays is brand friggin’ new here on Mommy in Color. I’m not sure if I will make it any kind of series or weekly day but today I feel like telling a truth about me.It’s not like a mind altering,life changing truth but it is hard to put my truth out there nonetheless.
My truth is that I don’t know if I can do this. And what I mean by “this” is blogging. I mean I know I can write well. I’ve been doing it since I was five. I have won more elementary school essay and poem contests than I care to remember but this is a horse of a different color.I’m talking about something I love very much. I want to write every day for the rest of my life and yes…profit from it.But can I do it?
Right now I’m on unemployment with a mom who recently had a heart attack and doesn’t know if we should move or not. My five year old spends her days on her computer which I know is not healthy but sometimes I get lazy and honestly i don’t know where to start to get her more focused and ready for school.
Since I’ve chosen blogging as my writing medium, I’ve opened up myself for a whole new world of sometimes very confusing things like:plugins, and SEOs and sometimes it’s confusing even though I’ve purchased several books to help me out.Writing is the easier part, it’s just the promoting and figuring out how to make money with my words. That’s the part that makes me want to give up. I’ve never given up on anything in my life and I don’t want to start.I look at all the other young moms like me and see them some how balancing children, work,and school and I want that.
I feel pressured to set a good example for Amani. She depends on me to do everything for her and I won’t let her down.But where do I start? I’ve gotten advice from every one I know. Some have suggested that I go back into the working world and have a steady work history while some have advised me to follow my dream because I’ll never feel satisfied until I do.I appreciate all advice but it’s just so hard because no one is in my shoes but me. I’m not ready to throw in the towel yet, but sometimes I pick it up.
My Hair Regimen
So far I don’t do anything daily with my hair. I usually just throw it in a ponytail and then cover it with my silk scarf at night and if I’m too lazy for that, I have a satin pillowcase as backup.
Every week I wash my hair with one of my sulfate free shampoos. My favorite one is Curls Unleashed Lavish in Lather sulfate free shampoo. I like Curl Care by Dr.Miracles Rehydrating Shampoo but it doesn’t have much lather to it and I NEED lather to feel clean. I’ve adopted a new wash routine which is sectioning my hair in four parts, washing only the scalp with shampoo because the water will clean the rest of the hair shaft during rinsing. After that, I finger detangle,then comb detangle and apply my deep conditioner.My favorite is ORS Replenishing Conditioner. I let it sit for 30 minutes with a conditioning cap on,then wash out. I L.O.C with whatever oil I choose and with whatever hair lotion/cream I want. As long as it’s moisturizing,I’m good.
Monthly hair care requires alot of time, in my opinion.I have to switch up shampoos to either a clarifying one or chelating one. My fave is ORS Creamy Aloe Shampoo,which is a clarifying shampo. Then I use a protein conditioner, either ORS Hair Mayo or Aphogee Keratin 2 minute reconstructor. Protein is a little harsh so i follow up with a moisturizing conditioner like ORS Hair Masque. My favorite part of monthly hair care is my hot oil treatment. I get to use whichever oil I feel like my hair needs and it always turns out feeling amazing!It only stays in for 30 minutes but that’s more than enough time to have my hair feeling soft and manageable. Lastly, is L.O.C.
I don’t style my hair much these days. I usually do either a sock bun or a faux ponytail. I know ,I know it’s boring but I promise to find other things I can do. I’m most concerned now with healthy hair because to me that is the sexiest kind of hair. Some of the products I mentioned earlier are going to be swapped out for new ones and some are going to become staples.
Things to Add/Change:
I plan or becoming more vigilant with my regular hair treatment becuase to be honest it does take TIME. Some days I’m too lazy to even run a comb through my hair nd those of you who know me personally, are a witness to that. I also want to make the move to finally “dust my hair. After I’m done with my AntiBreakage Challenge, I’m going to cut my own hair!!!! No, don’t try to stop me, I finally have the courage and know how to do it myself. Besides, me buying some hair scissors are waaaayyyy cheaper than me paying someone who doesn’t know anything thing about my lovely locs to do it. Although, I’m still a newbie to #teamlonghairdontcare, I want to incoporate more organic products to my arsenal. That’s more so to benefit Amani’s hair than mine because alot of the products I use on myself, I also use on her and she still has virgin hair. I’ve discovered yet another wonderful natural hair website that is more directed towards little ladies and I am in love with it. It’s beadsbraidsbeyond.blogspot.com. I encourage all my mothers of chocolate chip lovelies to try the hairstyles and hair tips before relaxing their children’s hair. I can proudly say that before I ever decided to get on a natural hair journey, I encouraged Amani to love her ‘fro as is. And she does. As I mentioned before, Iam soon planning a visit to Miss Jessie’s Hair Salon to get some professional advice on my hair and I’m also going to do a consultation with Miss Kavuli of Good Hair Diaries, as soon as I work it into my schedule.My birthday is coming up and as I get older, I want my hair to reflect how I feel about myself as a woman and mom.
Lately, I’ve been feeling so down and in such a rut. I don’t go out much and life around my house is dull City. Mommy A and N wear me out with their constant neediness. Mommy N insists that Amani and I go with her everywhere and that I run back and forth to the store for her at least three times a day. I don’t mind helping Mommy N with doctor’s appointments or business appointments, but it upsets me when I have to get Amani dressed and myself just to go up the street with her. She calls me just to get something out of the refrigerator for her and that is annoying because sometimes I’m in the middle of a conversation or some other task. We’ve had several heated discussions about me being her daughter, not her slave.SHe always tries to guilt trip me by saying she’s going to get a home health aide. I’ve built a resisitance to that. She’s very much capable of going out by herself and I’ve tried to encourage her to make some new church friends.The time and energy I spend at home worrying and taking care of Mommy N has even started to put a damper on my social relationships. I haven’t been out to see my ex coworkers or any of my friends socially in months.
I remember now why I loved going to work so much. It wasn’t just about the money. It was about feeling accomplished when I left out of my house and leaving behind all the bullshit and drama that was going on at home all the time. I never enjoyed leaving Amani but the relief kept me from feeling depressed. Now that I’m back staying at home,I’m happy to be with Amani more but I’m really miserable. Watching all my mothers aches and pains and taking medication and doctors’ visits is just really draining. Mommy A said to me the other day “Jennice you’ve been around us so long, you’re starting to look old”.That right there tells me I’m wasting my youth. I’ll be 24 years old in three weeks and I’m not even excited.Writing is my passion and I want to do it as a career but how can I write with any good feelings when I feel the opposite? Do I suck it up and keep going until I “feel” better or do I go back to my safety net: an outside job. Is this just a temporary slump I’m going through and how do I get out of it?
For week two of the antibreakage challenge, I once agained used my sulfate free shampoo as a substition for a moisturizing shampoo. I used ORS Hair Mayo as my medium protein treatment. It had to be used as a preepoo 30 minutes before washing. I sectioned my hair in fours and applied a hair masque,covered with a conditioning cap,and blew dry with my handheld blow dryer. After I rinsed that out, I L.O.C.’d as usual. My go to style for that week was my sock bun.
Week three, I was required to use a light protein conditioner so I took an ARGO cornstarch container ,put a tablespoon of Hair Mayo and put loads of EVOO and mixed them together. I applied to hair and let sit under a hand dryer with my conditioning cap on. I used Aphogee Leave In Treatment and the put EVOO and HAIRepair Intense Moisture Creme. I think I’ll be rocking a twistout this week! Until next week,friends!
The Argo cornstarch container where I put my light protein mix
Aphogee Leave In Conditioner
The other night,my family and I watched WWE’s Wrestlemania 29. It was my first time watching wrestling in about six years. My brother L, and I started watching it in 1996.We were watching WCW and soon discovered WWF. The first night we watched it I saw The Rock for the first time. From that day on every Monday and Thursday me,L,and my late Aunt Jeanette were glued to the television for two hours straight. Mommy N would order the pay-per-view evets for us if we promised to got to bed right after it went off.
My favorite wrestlers were Stone Cold Steve Austin,Triple H, The Rock,Chris Jericho,and the Undertaker.I also had wrestlers that were just attractive to me. As L and I got older, we stopped watching wrestling as much and found new interests.My Aunt Jeanette still watched it every now and then but I guess for her it wasn’t the same without us. My other brother X, and his father watched it faithfully but I realized alot of the wrestlers I had known were either retired or dead.
I decided to watch Wrestlemania 29 because a few of my faves were going to be there defending either their honor or championship belt.I was excited to see The Rock v. John Cena, Undertaker v. CM Punk, and Triple H v. Brock Lesnar. We gathered around the television and it felt like old times. We had snacks and me and X reminisced about when we used to reenact matches when we were kids and my Uncle and stepfather talked about the days of wrestling in the 70s and 80s. As we watched Undertaker perform his signature moves and Triple H get the crowd hyped up for what was definitely going to be classic Triple H.
I had so much fun and I screamed so loud I became hoarse. Amani was supposed to watch it with us because The Rock was voted Favorite Buttkicker in this year’s Kid’s Choice Awards and I told her that The Rock was a wrestler and had been for years. But her baby fatigue set in and she was asleep long before his match came up.
While my heart raced as I cheered on Triple H,I couldn’t help but think about my Aunt Jeanette and how she would have loved being right in the middle of all of all that hootin’ and hollerin’. I’m sorry that I didn’t continue watching wrestling with her when I thought it was for babies and I realize that all those Mondays and Thursdays weren’t necessarily about the sweaty, bulky, tall, young..sorry…wrestlers but it was always about spending time with my family. Thank you,Wrestlemania 29, for bringing an old and forgotten tradition back into my life and for reminding me that the feeling of comraderie is the best when it’s with family.